Why (Not) to Get Married?

Financial Security

Marriage provides a couple with greater financial security not only during the marriage but also after a divorce. Marriage creates joint property, which is fairly divided in the case of a divorce. The court can also grant spousal support. If you break up with a partner without being married, you have no financial obligations to each other. This can be particularly problematic for women who, after a breakup, may be on maternity or parental leave and have no other income.

Marriage also protects you in the event of the death of a spouse through a widow's pension. If you are not married, you are not entitled to a widow's pension. In the case of cohabitation without marriage, inheritance proceedings can also be problematic. While the spouse is automatically in the first group of heirs alongside the deceased's children, a partner is only in the second or third group and must prove that they lived together for at least a year.

Partnership Stability

Marriage signifies a commitment to each other. By saying "I do," you express your willingness and readiness to face problems and crises together. After all, you vow to love, honor, and be faithful in good times and bad. The sense of stability is one reason people get married. Every relationship faces crises and problems, whether you are married or not. Working on a relationship is necessary for it to grow and maintain intimacy and love, even when the initial infatuation fades.

When you are living together without marriage, it is easy to pack up and leave after the first big argument. You don't have to go through divorce court or justify your actions to anyone since you never made a public commitment. Therefore, living together without marriage is often chosen by couples who prefer personal freedom over commitment. However, acting on impulsive decisions is not always the best idea. Many people later regret breaking up with their ex-partner, especially when children are involved. Children are often the main reason to work on a relationship or visit a couples therapist.

If you feel distant and have nothing to say to each other, it is time to do something about it. Many couples reach this stage. Divorce or breakup is not the only solution. The marriage vow and commitment to each other can help you get through these tough times when you feel like giving up and starting anew with someone else. In short, before a married couple decides to divorce, knowing how much effort and time it will take, cooler heads may prevail, and the partners may stay together.

Stable Environment for Raising Children

In the past, single mothers and their children were often looked down upon, but today's views on starting a family, parenthood, and raising children in marriage are changing. A 2014 survey by the Center for Public Opinion Research revealed that for 49% of respondents, getting married is not important for raising children. 52% of respondents said that one parent can raise children as well as both parents together.

However, marriage can provide many benefits for children and family life – besides having a shared last name, it offers greater stability for the parents' relationship and financial security. Most importantly, it sets a positive example – where else but in the family can a child learn that a happy relationship requires effort and is worth fighting for?

Romance

White dresses, cake, bridesmaids… A wedding is a romantic moment that especially women look forward to since childhood. Although a wedding is a beautiful and significant ritual, it should not be the main reason to get married.

A wedding is not an instant solution to problems in your relationship. It won't bring back the butterflies in your stomach, solve relationship crises, or turn a pragmatic man into a romantic who sings serenades. The wedding itself usually changes nothing in the relationship. The change must be desired by both partners, and they must actively work on it. Marriage is only a tool that allows creating a safe environment for sharing intimacy. Nothing will fall into your lap. It is not enough to say "I do" in front of witnesses and expect that you are set for life without needing to work on the relationship.

On the other hand, a wedding can be a beautiful affirmation of love if you are sure you want to grow old together and grow in the relationship through good and bad times.

Sex

Are you attracted to marriage by the prospect of regular sex? Regular sex, like love, cannot be guaranteed by any contract. An intimate relationship and sex are definitely part of marriage and should be an integral part, but not the main reason to get married. If you enter a long-term relationship, you must be prepared for it to undergo many changes over time. Sexuality in marriage undergoes significant changes, not just due to aging but also after having children. Fatigue, exhaustion, night feedings, or just the presence of children in the next room – all these are big challenges for the intimate life of parents. Are you ready to face these relationship challenges?