Communicate and listen

Although it may sound banal, communication is the alpha and omega of a happy relationship. Talk, talk, talk – and don’t forget to listen too. Take an interest in what your partner is going through. Also communicate your needs and expectations to each other and try to understand the other party’s point of view – with respect and dignity, even if you don’t share your partner’s opinion.

Don’t assume that your partner can guess your feelings and thoughts – no one knows what you think and feel except you. That’s why communication is so important. Long-standing problems in a relationship, doubts and suppressed frustrations often result in arguments, mutual alienation and misunderstanding. Poor communication can have serious consequences, such as ending the relationship, infidelity in marriage, problems in marriage… Talk to each other as often as possible and about everything – there are no taboo topics in a healthy relationship.

The problem for many people is that they don’t know how to communicate their feelings or needs – no one taught them to. If you were raised by parents who never talked about emotions, or who taught you to live by the motto “grit your teeth and never complain”, open communication can be a problem for you. When you feel that you are unable to communicate effectively with each other, it is a good idea to see a professional.

If you don’t know each other’s needs or are not close enough to share your inner world and thoughts, you will gradually become alienated from each other. Personal fears, dissatisfaction, constant battle of thoughts and never-spoken questions tend to be silent and sneaky killers of relationships.

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Touch and kiss

A kiss goodbye, a hug, a sweet text message, a word of love… These small gestures will strengthen the bond and intimacy of a couple. They should never disappear from a relationship. Hug, kiss and don’t forget to tell each other how important you are to each other.

In many couples’ relationships, these small loving gestures disappear over time. Along with them, the feeling of mutual connection, security and trust. Some people are unable to show love and emotions in a relationship. This can again stem from upbringing. A “cold upbringing” devoid of emotions was nothing unusual in past decades. If your parents did not show you their love and never told you that they loved you, you may have difficulty expressing your feelings in your relationship. Even in this case, it is a good decision to seek the help of a therapist who will help you process deeply buried traumas that prevent you from experiencing quality relationships.

Surprise each other

Break the stereotype of everyday life with a nice and unexpected surprise. You don't have to buy expensive flights to Bali to blow your significant other away. Small but regular gestures can do more than a week in a luxury resort. Homemade breakfast in bed, tickets to a theater performance or perhaps a favorite chocolate that you buy at the gas station on the way home from work... All of these can put a smile on your partner's face. No science, right? Yet many couples forget about these little things and the spark between partners slowly fades.

“Friendly behavior is governed by the law of positive feedback, where small things have huge consequences—like a snowball rolling down a hill,” writes renowned psychologist John Gottman in his book The Seven Principles of Happy Marriage.

Make time for yourself

Shopping, cleaning, taking the kids to playgroups, taking the car to the service station… If your days feel like a never-ending marathon, or you only see each other at the door all week, your relationship will slowly wither. Make time for yourself—find at least a few minutes each day that will be just yours. Talk, cuddle, or engage in hobbies that you both enjoy. The dishes will wait, and the unironed laundry won’t run away either! Saving your relationship is more important than unfinished chores.

Go on a date together from time to time. But be careful – leave all the worries like unpaid bills, problems at work, difficulties with raising children and other romance killers at home.

Appreciate each other

No one wants to feel unappreciated in a relationship – everyone craves recognition and respect. The problem is that in long-term relationships, people tend to take some things for granted. Couples who can appreciate and compliment each other have happier relationships, according to research. Notice the positive things about each other. Every day there is a reason to be recognized, grateful or praised. Thank your significant other for a great dinner, a vacation arrangement, or appreciating their sense of humor or childcare.