Communication plays a key role in every relationship, and this is doubly true when it comes to issues related to intimacy and sex. By opening up about sexuality, you can avoid possible misunderstandings or disappointments. When and how to start a conversation about sex and sexuality while dating? We will tell you how to talk about your needs and desires and how to avoid unnecessary mistakes.
The other party's perspective matters
Every person is unique, just as their expectations and needs in the area of sex are unique. Without open communication on this topic, mutual misunderstandings, frustrations and disappointments can occur. That is why it is so important to find out what types of sexuality your partner prefers, what they do not, and how you can meet each other's expectations. Female sexuality is significantly different from male sexuality, which is why partners can grope each other.
No less important are issues of protection, which will help you dispel fears about unwanted conception or the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Last but not least, talking about sex will deepen trust in your relationship and strengthen your bond. These are strong arguments for not avoiding the conversation about sex.
Bring up the topic gradually
It is not wise to blurt out questions about sex and sexual preferences on the first date. Your partner might conclude that you are only interested in sex. What's more, not everyone is ready to talk about such an intimate topic with someone they are meeting for the first time. On your first date, you should find out if you have common interests, values, life goals, and if you can find common ground. Leave questions about sexual experiences and preferences for later dates. Try to be patient and wait for the relationship to naturally develop to the point where you are comfortable talking about sexual expectations. It is important that you are both prepared and comfortable for this conversation.
Choose the Right Place and Timing
If you want to bring up the topic of sex during a date, choose the right timing and place. Your relationship should be at a stage where you both feel comfortable enough and are open to discussing various topics. It is best to start the conversation in a quiet environment where no one will disturb you and where you both feel comfortable. A busy restaurant or cafe full of guests is not the ideal place.
Listen and respect boundaries
Sense how your partner feels during the conversation and whether he is uncomfortable talking about this topic. Also, do not forget that communication is not only about talking, but also about listening. Give your partner space to express his opinion and respect his boundaries. If he feels that he is not ready for sexual intimacy yet or is not looking for certain sexual practices, it is important to accept this and find common solutions.
Be honest but considerate
When talking about sex, be honest and put shame aside. At the same time, be considerate of your partner’s feelings and avoid vulgar language. If you feel that your partner’s preferences are different from yours, refrain from insensitive and hurtful comments. You can use sentences like: “I would like…” or “I think we are not on the same page on this…”.
Don’t limit communication to one conversation
In a healthy relationship, communication about sex should not end with one conversation. Communicate your needs, wants and desires whenever necessary. Do you feel that you need some things differently? Don’t keep this information to yourself. A satisfied sex life is the basis of a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Seek compromises
And what if you don’t completely agree on your needs, wants or desires?
There is nothing wrong with that, because each person is unique. Try to understand your partner and find ways to compromise that you both enjoy.
Loss of libido: Disliking sex doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship.
If your ideas about sex and intimacy are diametrically opposed, finding a compromise can be a bit of a challenge. You should never force your partner into sexual practices that they don't like, or push them to the limit if they're not in the mood for sex. The same goes for the other way around. Do you feel like you're lacking in sex, but you get along wonderfully in other areas? Then try finding a sex coach. On the other hand, if you don't understand each other in sex or other areas at the beginning of the relationship, think carefully about whether you see any point in dating again.
Don't stay in a relationship just to avoid being alone. Get to know new people, meet new people, and sooner or later you'll find your soulmate. If you are lacking opportunities to meet new people and are not a fan of online dating, try speed dating.
Související články
Are you living with a narcissist? 8 warning signs that will give him away
Mingles relationships are growing in popularity: Do you know their main (dis)advantages?
How to rebuild a relationship after a breakup and get your ex back?
