Different needs can introduce tension and discord into a relationship

In long-term relationships, it is quite common for one of the partners to feel like sex at a given moment, while the other is not in the mood for intimate games. The problem arises if similar situations occur too often, or if one of the couple has significantly reduced or, on the contrary, increased libido. A partner with more desire may feel unwanted or unloved. Sexual frustration can be vented through aggression or, on the contrary, by withdrawing into oneself. His self-confidence and self-esteem can also suffer. In a simple situation, there is not even a partner with a smaller appetite. If he is pressured into sex, he may begin to perceive intimate games as an unpleasant duty, or he may develop a complete aversion to sex.

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Trust and open communication come first

Are you dealing with sexual problems in silence and hoping they will resolve themselves later? Silence and inability to communicate about the problem can be interpreted by your partner as a lack of interest. Don't make problems in the bedroom taboo. Unresolved problems cause feelings of alienation and frustration between partners, and from there it is only a step towards separation.

Put shame aside and don't be afraid to talk openly about the emotions you're experiencing and your needs. At the same time, try to listen to your partner and try to understand his point of view. Avoid blame and blame. Don't say the phrase: "you never want sex". Instead, try the wording: "I feel rejected when we don't have sex that often." Being open will allow the other partner to share their own feelings and reasons why they may not feel like having sex as often.

The key to the solution is to understand the reasons

Various causes can be behind a decreased or increased sexual appetite. In order to find a solution, you must also find the cause. The most common reasons for decreased interest in sex include fatigue, exhaustion, stress, medical conditions, side effects of medications, or hormonal changes. Difficulties in the relationship or physical changes in the partner can also be another significant factor.

Partners can also perceive sex as such very differently. While one of the couple may perceive sex as a way to relieve stress and fatigue, the other partner may perceive it exactly the opposite – for sex, he needs peace, rest and a clear head in order to tune in to his partner and intimate connection. Try to understand the attitudes of the partner and, if possible, solve the causes of the difficulties. If tiredness, exhaustion and stress are the reasons behind the reduced desire for sex, look for ways to relieve your partner. It can be more involved in the household, or delegating some responsibilities, such as picking up children from kindergarten or from clubs, to a wider circle of the family. You can also reduce your demands and requirements – you don't have to have a hot dinner every day, nor do you have to spend every weekend at work just to be able to afford a holiday by the sea.

The time spent together strengthens the intimate connection

If you're not spending time together as a couple, you're not communicating and you're alienated from each other, it probably won't work in the bedroom either. First of all, set aside at least half an hour every day that will belong only to you and strengthen your intimate connection.

Go on a date once a week and enjoy your time together. Break the stereotype and the daily routine that kills sexual desire. If you have small children, find a way to be alone at least sometimes. It is not only grandparents who need to help with babysitting, you can also rely on friends and extended family. Go to the cinema together, to dinner, to wellness, talk and tune in to each other.

The art of compromise strengthens a relationship

In sex, as in other areas of a relationship, it is important to find a compromise. Compromise does not mean that one of the partners will have to do things they are not comfortable with, or that the other will give up on their needs and desires.

Look for methods of intimacy that will suit both of you. If your significant other is not in the mood for sex right now, don't pressure or blame. Sex is not the only way to strengthen an intimate connection. Try massages, stroking, cuddling, masturbation or other activities. Don't be afraid to experiment and try new sexual positions or practices that can stimulate desire.

Try to achieve mutual agreement in the area of frequency as well. A partner with a lower sexual desire should not constantly adapt to the needs of a more active partner. A partner with a higher libido can release sexual pressure through sports or perhaps masturbation.

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Sex is an important link in a relationship

If both partners are not asexual, regular sex should not be missing in a healthy and happy relationship. The prospect of spending another 10, 20, 30 or more years in a marriage with almost no sex is unbearable for most people with an average libido. If one of the couple refuses to solve the problems, or the couple cannot agree on a compromise, the relationship is usually doomed. Either the couple breaks up over time, infidelity enters the relationship, or the joy and intimacy fades away from it, making it more like the cohabitation of two roommates or friends. Therefore, be respectful of each other and, above all, talk to each other and share your feelings.