Dating for Single Parents: How to Find Time and Energy

Stay Positive

Don't be influenced by the idea that single parents must spend all their free time with their kids. Having a partner to rely on is very important. This is even more true if you're raising your children alone after a breakup or divorce. As the saying goes, "happy mom, happy child." No one expects you to be just a full-time mom or dad after having kids.

Forget negative thoughts like "no one will want me because I have kids." That's not true! Look around you—how many of your friends, relatives, and acquaintances found new relationships after a breakup or divorce, even though they have kids? Probably quite a few. It's also a mistake to hide your kids from a new date. Be honest but don't rush things—don't say on the first date that you're looking for a new mom or dad for your kids. You're dating for yourself and primarily looking for a partner, not a replacement parent.

Arrange Childcare

Childcare can be a major issue when it comes to dating. If you don't have grandparents to help or money for a babysitter, make an arrangement with a friend. You can watch each other's kids, taking turns.

Don't involve your kids in the dating process or take them on dates, at least not at the beginning. Don't tell them about every date and new acquaintance. They would be unnecessarily confused if the relationship doesn't work out. Once you get to know someone better and see a future with them, plan a joint outing, like a trip to the zoo or another fun date where you can bring the kids.

Recharge Your Energy

What if you don't have the energy? This is a common question for exhausted single parents. Arrange regular childcare now so you're prepared and don't have to scramble for a sitter when you meet someone. Use your free time to rest, pursue hobbies, or engage in self-development. Try a new sport or hobby, or enroll in an educational course. You'll gain new energy and boost your confidence. If you'd rather stay home with a book, watch a series, or take a hot bath, do it without guilt. Enjoy your free time as you like. Self-care is very important.

Single parents often dedicate all their time to their kids, neglecting their own interests and desires. After years of putting yourself last, you might not even know what you enjoy anymore. Explore new activities and discover what makes you happy. This is the best way to find yourself.

Involve Your Kids in Household Tasks

Why should all the household chores be only on your shoulders? Younger school-age kids can vacuum, unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, or prepare a snack or simple dinner. These skills will be valuable for them in life. Also, think about whether it's necessary to clean every day, dust, or cook a hot meal every night. If you jump into housework right after coming home from work and don't stop until bedtime, it's no wonder you lack time and energy.

It's also important to organize your time well—set priorities and leave less important tasks for later. Invest in modern appliances like a robotic vacuum, dishwasher, dryer, and use a slow cooker or multifunctional pot for cooking.

Don't hesitate to involve your ex-partner in some duties like school preparations, doctor visits, and picking up kids from activities. Both of you have responsibilities toward your children, even if you're no longer a couple.

Save Time

A lack of opportunities to meet people is often why single parents struggle to find a partner. Online dating can be time-consuming. Browsing profiles, selecting suitable candidates, lengthy messaging, and going on dates—all take a lot of time and energy. If a date goes poorly, you might not feel like going through it all again.

If you lack time, try speed dating. In one evening, you can meet up to 12 single people looking for a serious relationship. Consider fun dating events for parents with kids, which can ease your worries that children might be an obstacle in a new relationship. If you want to share a hobby or passion with a potential partner, attend themed evenings for sport active people, academic singles, travelers, and more.

Have Fun Dating

Don't pin all your hopes on every date and new acquaintance thinking this time it has to work out. If it turns out they're not the right one, you'll be disappointed and demotivated. Dating should be fun—you'll meet many new people and have a great time. It might turn into friendship or a significant relationship. Or maybe not. Keeping an open mind is key to successful dating.

What if it doesn't work out and you're filled with negative thoughts? Each failure is an important part of your life's journey, so don't see it as a defeat. Unsuccessful relationships can help you realize what kind of partner you really need and what's important to you in a relationship. It didn't work out this time, but it might next time! People who can stay positive even when things don't go as planned are attractive!

The ability to think positively isn't something you're born with. You can learn this technique. Read Mark Manson's book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck." If you're struggling with low self-esteem, read "The Enemy in My Head" by Mathias Hammer. It will teach you to manage the inner voice that criticizes you and makes a big deal out of everything. This renowned psychologist offers excellent advice to help you be kinder to yourself and find the strength to pursue your life goals.