Dating for Introverts: 4 Tips for Handling a First Date When You're Not a Social Extrovert

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While extroverts eagerly seek out meeting new people and feel at ease in conversation, for introverts, it can be a source of great stress and discomfort. Find out how to navigate dating and meeting new people if forming new connections isn’t your strong suit.

Extroverts vs. Introverts

What does the term extrovert and introvert mean, and how do their worlds differ? Extroverts love being in the midst of action, seek out social interactions, and enjoy sharing their feelings, thoughts, and opinions. They feel drained when they lack external stimuli.

And who is an introvert? These are individuals who draw energy from their inner world, thoughts, and feelings, often being very contemplative and reflective. They don’t seek out social interactions as much as extroverts do, but this doesn’t mean they don’t like people. Often, they prefer the comfort of home with a book or a movie, or a quiet walk in nature over a noisy party or lively social gathering. If they do go out, they tend to be quieter and less talkative, making dating and meeting new people more challenging for introverts. They may worry about being interesting and entertaining enough for their date, while an extroverted partner might interpret their quietness as a lack of interest.

If you are an introvert, here is some good news – the ability and willingness to communicate is essentially a learned skill. While extroversion and introversion are innate traits that we cannot change, communication skills can be developed quite easily. Let’s look at how to handle a first date comfortably and without unnecessary nervousness.

Tame Your Fear and Nervousness

Are you paralyzed by fear of rejection or bad memories from past dates? Are you worried that nerves will get the better of you and you won’t feel like yourself on the date? Try to stay positive and confident. Don’t stress over whether you will be entertaining and interesting enough for your date. Not everyone desires a talkative partner. Don’t worry about trying to be like an extrovert. A relationship with an introvert can be just as wonderful as one with an extrovert. Remind yourself of your positive traits that make you unique. Introverts often have a highly valued skill – the ability to listen. Use this to your advantage.

Also, give yourself plenty of time to relax and prepare before the date. Exercise to release endorphins into your bloodstream, or call friends who can help alleviate your worries.

Share Your Feelings

If, despite all preparation and effort, you suddenly find yourself paralyzed by fear, nervousness, or anxiety, don’t be afraid to share your feelings. It would be a shame for your date to misinterpret your reserved behavior or silence as a lack of interest. If sparks fly and you’d like to go on a second date, don’t leave them in doubt. A brief explanation that you don’t feel like yourself because you’re nervous about the first date will suffice. You can end by saying the date was great and you’d like to plan another.

TIP: How to Act on a First Date

Prepare Conversation Topics

Worried that you’ll run out of things to say on the first date and suddenly not know what to talk about? Try thinking of a few questions you’d like to ask your potential partner. This will make you feel more confident. Initially, avoid overly personal questions and explosive topics like politics or religion, and steer clear of discussing past relationships.

A suitable topic for a first date is hobbies and interests. If you find a shared interest, whether it’s traveling, watching movies, sports, or anything else, you’ll surely have no shortage of conversation topics.

Try Speed Dating

Many people today meet through dating apps or online dating sites, which might not be ideal for introverts. If you find on a planned date that you don’t like the person, they look different than their photos, or you simply have nothing to say to each other, you might find it challenging to reject them face to face. Instead of dating apps, try speed dating, which is perfect for introverts. At a speed dating event, you can meet up to 12 single people in one evening. You spend only five minutes talking to each potential partner, which is enough to know if you find them likable and want to see them again. At the same time, it’s short enough to avoid worrying about awkward silences or escaping from a bad date if there’s no spark or you’re not on the same wavelength. Plus, you avoid the discomfort of rejecting someone face to face if the feelings aren’t mutual. You can try speed dating in cities like Prague. Book the date for your next date.

Autor: Jakub Žwak