How to keep a relationship strong?

A strong relationship will not happen by itself. It is not enough just to spend time together, you need to take care of the relationship, give it a clear direction and common goals. When the initial crush fades, the relationship gradually changes. While in the period of love a couple is mainly held together by mutual chemistry, in the next phase it is mutual respect, mutual values and goals that help maintain stability and mutual bond in the relationship.

A relationship has no future if there is nothing connecting you and you are not going anywhere together. Common values and goals help to overcome crises in the relationship that every couple deals with sooner or later.

How to talk about a common future?

Be open and honest

Openly discuss what your desires, plans and expectations are for the relationship. Do you want to start a family together, build a home, run a business or perhaps travel and discover the world? Discussions about the future together should not be taboo in a healthy relationship. Talk openly about your dreams, but also your fears. It is also important not to rush the beginning of the relationship. Perhaps during the first few meetings you will realize that you each have different ideas about the future and that you are incompatible as partners.

Give direction

How do you see your relationship in a year, in 5 or 10 years? Where do you want to move together?
Shared goals are specific directions you want to take in life as a couple. Goals can be short-term, such as taking a vacation together, or long-term, such as starting a family, buying an apartment, building a home, and more. Planning and a joint journey to fulfill life goals enriches the relationship and gives it a deeper meaning.

Set your priorities

If you have a head full of ideas and dreams, it will probably not be possible to fulfill them all at once. Decide which goals are most important and set priorities. Will you focus on your career, building a home, traveling or family first?

Be flexible

Life is full of surprises, so things may not go according to plan. Be prepared for the changes that life brings and avoid blaming, blaming or arguing about who caused the situation. Are there unexpected expenses or a drop in income? You can postpone a planned vacation, moving or apartment renovation. Illness, injury, dismissal from work or perhaps the birth of a child can also throw a fork in your plans. Face things head on and agree on how to adapt your plans to the new situation.

Plan together and separately

Planning a future together doesn't mean giving up your personal dreams, desires and hobbies. It is important that you have common goals, but you should not neglect your personal needs as well. Both partners would have room for their personal growth and fulfillment. As the famous quote says, you should be a little alike to understand each other, but a little different to love each other. Shared hobbies and interests strengthen the relationship, while differences bring enrichment and new stimuli to the relationship.

TIP: Joint activities that strengthen the relationship

As partners, you should support each other in achieving your personal goals. In a healthy relationship, no one should feel like their dreams and goals are suppressed, belittled, or ignored.

What if your values and goals diverge?

Each person is a unique personality who has his own plans, desires and dreams. It may be that your ideas about the future may differ. Perhaps you would like to start a family, while your partner intends to focus primarily on building a career in the next 5 years. If your ideas and plans diverge, open communication is important.

Try to find a compromise that will be acceptable to both of you. However, if your ideas about the future are diametrically different and you cannot find a compromise, the only solution is to break up. Typically, this can be an example when one of the couple's life goal is to start a family, while his partner does not desire children and wants to devote his life to other values than the care and upbringing of a joint offspring. In this case, finding a compromise is very difficult.

TIP: Why (not) compromise in a relationship?

There is no point in staying in a relationship without a future, thinking that your partner might change their mind one day. If you give up on your dreams and constantly adjust to your partner's wishes, you will feel frustrated, anxious or depressed. All this is reflected in the relationship - feelings of tension, misunderstanding and alienation usually result in a breakup sooner or later anyway.

TIP: I want a baby! Where to find a man to start a family?

Everyone deserves to live life in a relationship full of understanding and fulfillment. If you don't know where to meet and find a compatible partner, try speed dating - a modern form of dating that is completely different from impersonal online dating sites and dating apps.