In love with your “image”

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness. Narcissism can occur in both men and women. The disease was named after the legendary Narcissus, who was so in love and obsessed with his own image that he fell into the water and drowned. These people appear self-confident on the outside, often even arrogant. But on the inside, they are very sensitive and often have damaged self-esteem. According to experts, narcissistic disorder can develop as a result of overly critical and humiliating upbringing or pressure to perform. Children of narcissistic parents often copy experienced patterns of behavior and transfer them to their relationships in adulthood.

Narcissists are egocentric and convinced of their perfection and uniqueness. They perceive others as tools to help them achieve their goals and satisfy their needs. If you do not meet their ideas of perfection, they can be incredibly cruel.

Detecting a narcissist is not easy

The manifestations of narcissistic personality disorder may not be obvious to the wider community. Arrogant and self-centered behavior is often mistaken for character. Narcissists themselves do not consider their behavior pathological, and therefore usually do not seek professional help. According to research by Steve Bressert from the American Psychiatric Association, about 6% of the adult population may suffer from this disorder.

The problem is that narcissists do not reveal their true colors within a few dates. On the contrary, they are excellent at disguising and manipulating others. They are often attractive, charismatic, intelligent and unique in their own way, so they easily charm their victim. Narcissists will fully manifest themselves when the initial phase of the relationship has passed. They will try to trap you in their webs as soon as possible, hook you and cause emotional dependence - they will easily "insure" you with obligations in the form of a shared apartment and mortgage, a wedding or a child. The main feature of narcissists is their unpredictability. One day they love you and sing odes to you, while the next day you are the target of their merciless criticism. You can recognize a narcissist by these warning signs:

They are only interested in themselves

They like to talk about themselves - what they are successful at, what places they have visited, what their day was like - and they like to exaggerate everything. It is not uncommon for them to almost not let you speak. If they give you space, it seems as if they are not interested in your feelings, experiences or worries, and at the next opportunity they will direct the conversation back to themselves.

Narcissists cannot stand it when anyone questions their boasting. If you want to test whether you are dealing with a narcissist, try a simple test. Try to question their story and notice the reaction. The narcissist will react irritated or angry.

They exaggerate

Narcissistic people tend to exaggerate, dramatize and color reality. They will suddenly turn a gnat into a huge camel. They will also like to shower you with the most beautiful flattery at the beginning of the relationship - you will definitely be the best and most amazing thing that has ever happened to them in their life. They will not hesitate to confess their love, you will easily get it on the second date.

They are eternally dissatisfied

Have you thought of a wonderful surprise – a visit to a restaurant, a gift, or maybe something good for dinner? Instead of thanks from a narcissist, you will receive criticism – the restaurant is not classy enough, the food is too ordinary, he could have chosen a better gift… A narcissist is never satisfied with anything and does not hesitate to show it. He will easily be offended, nasty, angry or mean and you will not understand why.

They never admit a mistake

Narcissists never apologize, do not regret anything and do not admit their mistake. If something does not work out for them, they always blame someone else. They are not afraid to break the rules – in their perfection they do not need them, the rules only apply to “ordinary people”.

They belittle the successes of others

Have you been promoted at work, completed a prestigious language course or perhaps managed to get tickets to a sold-out concert? Do not expect recognition from a narcissist. Your efforts and successes will be belittled or attributed to chance. You may also encounter doubtful remarks or mockery addressed to you. This will strengthen their ego and consolidate their power.

They lie

Truth is a subjective concept for narcissists - they can always twist and turn it to their advantage so that they can emerge from any conflict as winners and you as losers.

They do not have long-term friends

Narcissists can easily make new friends, they are charming, enchanting and know how to have a great time in society. However, their friendships are rather superficial and the main feature is that they usually lack long-term friends. The reason is simple - as soon as they stop masking, no one wants to be friends with them.

They are not interested in your feelings or worries

Do not expect any interest from a person with a narcissistic personality. They are not interested in your worries, feelings or troubles. If you want to confide in them about your suffering, they will calmly cut off your story and change the subject. If you are sick, do not expect any care. A narcissist won't even make you a cup of tea. And what about helping you move or paint your new apartment? Forget about it, that's your problem, and the narcissist won't get involved in any way.

Breaking up with a narcissist is often a purgatory

A self-centered person with narcissistic disorder is not a good life partner. Lack of empathy, egocentrism and a manipulative nature often escalate into psychological abuse in a relationship. And you don't want to experience that. Escape the relationship before it destroys you psychologically. However, breaking free from the clutches of a narcissist will not be easy.

Narcissists tend to exploit the weaknesses of others and build dependency, which makes it difficult to decide to leave. They can make you feel guilty, confused or afraid of being left alone and abandoned. They often use various forms of manipulation - they can try to charm and win you back, promise you a bright future, or, on the contrary, blame you for all your problems and start spreading gossip about you.

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If you want to break up with a narcissist, stick to one main rule - cut off all contact. Do not respond to pleading text messages or threats, feel free to block his phone number and profile on social networks. If you give a narcissist any opportunity, you will never escape his influence.

If he has sown the seed of doubt in you that you will not be able to cope without him and will be left alone, do not believe him. You deserve a person by your side who will respect and appreciate you. In the modern world, you can easily meet people. If you have had a negative experience with online dating, try more serious forms of acquaintance. Come to the dating evenings in Prague, where in one evening you will discreetly meet up to 12 single counterparts who are looking for a serious relationship.