Loss of libido: Disliking sex doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship.

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Occasional depression of sexual desire is not unusual. The problem arises when it is a long-term condition that negatively affects your partner relationships. Do you find that your significant other does not even think about making love? Or are you the one who's overcome with an aversion to sex? Loss of libido is not only a problem for women, but also for men. A satisfied sex life is the basis of a healthy partnership. Long-term frustration in the sexual area and lack of sex often leads to estrangement between partners, more frequent arguments or even depression. But what if one of the couple does not feel like having sex? Is there a way to restore the desire for sex?

What is libido?

Libido is a sexual desire that is important for a proper sexual experience and a healthy sex life. Many factors affect our sex drive, both positively and negatively. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to boost your libido and bring lust and desire back into your relationship.

Why does libido decrease?

1. Stress, depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue

Mental discomfort and a heavy workload are among the most common reasons why our sexual desire decreases. If you're constantly stressed, anxious or depressed, it's no wonder you don't even think about sex. At the same time, you may also experience a loss of appetite for life and a feeling that nothing makes sense. Joy, happiness and optimism gradually disappear from your life.

If you put maximum energy into your career, raising children or hobbies, it is no wonder that you stop perceiving your feminine or masculine energy and sensuality. If your partner tries to seduce you when you're exhausted, you're probably not in the mood for a long explanation and simply say, "I'm not in the mood for sex." When these situations happen too much in a relationship, your partner can start to feel unloved and misunderstood.

2. Hormonal changes

Loss of libido in men is not uncommon these days, it's just that men don't talk about it much. Fatigue, hectic lifestyle and overwork disturb the hormonal balance. Low testosterone leads to decreased or complete loss of libido. Testosterone is an important sex hormone that helps maintain sexual desire and sperm production. After the age of 30, however, its level decreases by roughly 1-2% per year. A more pronounced decrease in testosterone is also accompanied by gradual thinning of hair, loss of muscle mass or increased fatigue. Sex in your 40s is also different than in your 20s.

In women, sex drive is also heavily influenced by hormones. A change in the ratio of hormones in the body occurs naturally during pregnancy, breastfeeding or menopause. However, as a result of diseases, poor lifestyle, stress and excess weight, hormones can fluctuate at any time during life. Hormones help nourish the vaginal mucosa and keep it flexible and firm. Hormonal imbalances cause problems with insufficient lubrication and sex can become uncomfortable or even painful. If a woman repeatedly experiences unpleasant or painful sex, she can create a psychological block. Non-hormonal balance will be revealed by blood tests that you can request from your gynecologist.

3. Overweight and disease

Overweight and obesity are associated with the development of many health problems, including loss of libido. The desire for sex can also have a negative effect on many diseases that can be hidden for years. Often it is thyroid disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems or various types of cancer.

4. Taking certain medicines, alcohol or drugs

Aversion to sex can be caused by excessive use of alcohol, drugs, but also some medications. Medicines for the treatment of high blood pressure or hormonal contraception can have a negative effect. Antidepressants and sexuality also form a separate chapter. 

5. Psychological factors

Constant shouting, arguments, criticism or even humiliation can lead to a mental block and a dislike for making love with a partner. In this case, it is first necessary to work on restoring the relationship and mutual trust.

Unpleasant, painful or forced sex will also leave scars on the soul. When a woman loses interest, it is not a good idea to push the saw. Pressure, coercion or reproaches can make the whole situation worse. In men, a psychological block can even cause erectile dysfunction.

Loss of libido can also be caused by body changes during pregnancy or after childbirth. A woman stops feeling attractive and is ashamed of the changes that have happened to her body in connection with the birth of a child. And it doesn't have to be only about women and motherhood. The human body goes through many changes due to aging or an inappropriate lifestyle. If you have doubts about your own body and your attractiveness, you may not be able to relax enough during sex and subconsciously avoid it.

How to restore the desire for sex?

1. Adjust your lifestyle

Sufficient sleep and exercise, a healthy diet, space for relaxation and time spent together can often work wonders.

2. Try herbs to increase libido

How to improve erection and increase libido? Natural medicine recommends herbs such as St. John's wort, ginseng or ginger to support libido.

3. Relax

Find a way to relax during sex. Don't forget stroking, kissing or a relaxing massage. All this will help you tune in to the right wave. If you still don't feel like sex, don't force yourself to do anything and stick to cuddling or masturbation. For sex, choose only those sexual positions and practices that are comfortable for you.

4. See a specialist

Do you suspect that your reluctance to have sex stems from a hormonal imbalance or do you suspect another disease? Consult the treatment with your general practitioner. If a psychic is behind the decrease in libido, do not delay in visiting a sexologist or psychologist.

Can a relationship last without sex?

A sexless relationship can work if both partners are comfortable with it. Otherwise, sooner or later it may end in infidelity or breakup. Try to work on strengthening mutual intimacy, be understanding of your partner's differences and try our tips for libido support.

If, despite all efforts, the relationship cannot be maintained, do not despair. The end of one relationship means the beginning of something new. They say that people come into our lives to teach us something. And you already know what you really need in life and you have a chance to find a partner with whom you will be compatible in all respects. We will be happy to help you find your soulmate, visit our dating evenings for singles in Prague.

Autor: Jakub Žwak